As any kid, I believed in
fairytales, in magic, in love. I believed that we are immortal, and that
adulthood is happiness. Most of all, I believed that my parents are soulmates
and I was their princess.
Obviously, we all grow out of those ridiculous hallmark movie fictions and be introduced to real life tragedy by time we get to High school. Some of us are more fortunate than others when it comes to the household situation. We don’t know what a ‘normal’ house is. We think that our normal is everyone else’s normal. Our beliefs are nothing less than universal truths. That belief of whatever happens in our house, happens everywhere else fades away when you meet your peers and cannot relate to them. And, that is exactly what happened to me.
A traditional middle-class house in consists of four elements. A breadwinning father, a bread making mother, bread eating children and bread bitching relatives. But my nuclear family had two breadwinning adults and no relatives. A typical day in our lives back in the 2000’s was merely simple. By 9a.m. everyone left the house. I’d come back from school by 2p.m., my mother by 6p.m. and my father by 9p.m. My mother’s busy teaching schedule didn’t stop at her college. She had to continue to be a teacher until I finish my extremely difficult addition and subtraction problems. She is much disciplined. She is the early to bed, early to raise kind of a gal. As for my father, let’s just say that he hates sunlight.
The only interesting visual from my childhood that I remember vividly took place on a warm and dry Sunday… I woke up excited, because I finally get to play a board game that requires 3 or more players, gifted to me on my 12th birthday. My mother was in the kitchen rolling the dough on the cool granite counter top. My father was in the hall room, on his dell laptop. They seem to be not as busy as they generally are. I quickly run to my closet and pull out a very heavy box. I run to the hall room and put everything on the carpeted floor. (full story on how there is not communication between the two)
Cracks in the foundation is an indication of how strong the structure is. When two families come together to decide the future of two individuals that are basically strangers, to get them married and later force them to buy a house, a car and the kids, it is vital that the foundation is laid well. Communication and compromises are essential. But, if those two individuals are strong headed and never compromising type, the structure is bound to fall any second. The fact that they never really talked to each other like the couples in movies or my friend’s parents didn’t stick out until I was in a relationship. I understood that they live separate lives. After a while, I’ve noticed the same thing in my own relationship. In fact, in every relationship that I’ve been in, the magic lasts as long as a mayfly.
There is no magic that binds two people together. It’s just what we’re told is ‘normal’. To stay with a person for the rest of your life and also declare it to the government. This somehow became the natural thing to do.